Friday, August 26, 2005

To stand the world a drink!!

We knew her, she'd grown up with us.There wasn't much difference between us except that as the growing up years became trickier and trickier,she couldn't cope.The thing with good morals and personal temperance didn't seem to come too easy with her.As with most parents, ours had warned us ever so severly, to keep off her paths or else we'd become just as miserable like she had been. Her stories were heard far and wide, her shame embraced her wherever she went. She was your typical easy woman, often without friends. Some sympathised, others made fun while others just remained indifferent. Life went on, each day with a new visitor at her door. Nobody was courageous enough to care, she was a gone case, the kind left only to God's all encompassing mercies.
Eventually, however she made her way to town where by some good grace she discovered her talents in showbiz and for once in her life she had actually become great.It was evident in her every move.The once tired lines on her face had become a perfect complexion, sanguine with suppleness and health.The forever agonised countenance was now aglow with confidence and beaming with the possibilities that her world had created for her.
The news of her come back was on every lip again just as that of her mischief had been.We listened with eager anticipation downing each detail with mixed feelings,preparing ourselves for the final stage which would be to see for ourselves.
Finally the day came and yes our eyes couldn't help but stare; the beauty was remarkable and the underlying success spoke louder than any words could.We held our breath like children caught stealing sugar, she strode past us, a beautiful tigress at the prime of her glory.Tension was mounting as scenes from the past kept unfolding in our minds. It was a past we had both created, in our words, judgements and convictions. Before, we had been the favoured ones and our criticism often acrid and insensitive, had always been thrown at her. She had been the prisoner in our dock with no lawyer to stand for her. She had known many men and many knew her but none stood with her as a friend.Loneliness had become a part of her. Slowly she had learnt to do without friends becoming her own mentor and comforter. With that bitterness of the soul known only to the misfits of the earth, she had learnt how to boldly repel us and had decided to be the single handed creature of the night that takes in the cold, the fear and the drab but still spins gold out of it.
Now with the advent of change she knew we were forced to acknowledge her success and that we did, only with many a lump in our throats.Yes we had wronged her, that we knew, but so how we'd we make up? She percieved the world as an enemy,to whom she'd always work hard to prove herself.It was clear to her that she was never among friends when she was with us.She'd either lose or win but we could never share the same plate as friends would.
Her newly acquired success must have seemed to her as the franchise with which she would enter our world or better still a mark she now had over us.Deep inside however, she wished to reconcile herself with her past enemies.Guess in the end, past bitterness and all were simply made easier by the passage of time and her apparent mastery over all her odds enough to succeed like she had. She was willing to let it all go and hug us tight like long lost friends would.
So she invited us for a drink. It wasn't your regular wine, but the kind that talks of class and social elevation.We sat down to the feast, a celebration to mark the end of an era.With grace and style she poured the drink into our glasses. Avoiding each other's eyes we flowed on, following the social niceties demanded of us.Our throats tightened with mixed sentiments, more like actors who forgot their words on stage. Slowly however the taste of the wine seemed to revive the unwept tears of a past we were all so eager to bury. The old wounds started bleeding again.Suddenly we seemed like wolves in her table ready to prey on her kindness, just like we had mocked her earlier misdeeds. The whole ceremony appeared more of a plea for our acceptance on her part.Her once immaculate face clouded with obvious disgust.Who were we that she should work so hard for our acceptance?Hadn't she lived without us for so long?The once orderly table responded to the wave of emotion in our host. It shook like a broken reed spilling the drink not to mention spoiling the feast.We watched in horror, prisoners of our own consciences.Yes she had succeeded but that was never enough for us, somehow it was easier to have her where she had been.She stared back with rage. We knew we had to leave.
Like her, some of us wish to stand the world a drink. To flaunt our success to those that had earlier despised us, indeed to prove ourselves against their prejudice.But that may not come too easy. When we are finally ready the world is either too shy or too mean to come for its drink.What is the use of waiting to live another day, i.e the day you'll finally be able to prove yourself to the world? Instead of standing the world the drink which in most cases becomes a wasted effort I'd rataher one stood themselves the drink instead. Acknowledge your heartaches, misfortunes and the mountains you need to climb, then resolve the situation with your Maker. I am sure He will reassure you and give you a new reason to live.Sooner or later one would realise who they really owe an apology.It isn't the world out there, but it's with your Maker with whom you need to renew contacts. We all need unconditional love and acceptance something we cannot earn by trying to redeem our past.Whenever you feel like having to stand the world a drink just know you need something higher and more meaningful. Resolve the situation with your own Maker who truly loves you unconditionally and has all the answers to the mystery that your life may seem.It helps little to think you can just forget and forgive just coz of the passage of time. It never works like that. You need to resolve yur past and forgive not just cover up with some expensive drink, it never comes too easy.After which you should stop wishing to win peoples acceptance by attempting to redeem your past. In fact you do not owe them an apology.They have no right to put you in a prison of their own making.You should consider yourself ready for an honest and healthy friendship that does not lay down rules for you. Stand yourself the drink and set yourself free!

5 Comments:

Blogger Milonare said...

I am at a loss for words!!! This is a deep, beautiful, emotive post!!!

Lakini, ulienda wapi??

This post is more than worth the wait lakini utajitetea ukiwa upande gani? The KBW jury is waiting ;)

Welcome back pricky and kudos on one of the best posts I've read in ages!!!

5:09 AM  
Blogger Acolyte said...

is this a true story?It is deep i will admit

6:17 PM  
Blogger Medusa said...

What a way to start my day...thank you for that..

8:13 AM  
Blogger AfroFeminista said...

Do you know me? Very affirming and beautiful post - reminding us it's all a circle that starts and ends in each of our hearts...thank you

12:27 AM  
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