Friday, October 14, 2005

On a light note

Of course I have an apology to make, Milonare nitajitetea nikiwa upande wa mashahidi!!
Now these things that we hope do not happen on our wedding days,at times do happen you know.Remember your first campus meet,'Meet the freshmen kind of thing?'Oh yeah the new faces, seniors trying to find the pretty ones and generally getting a taste of what it would be like for the next few years there.Far from the high fliers,the kind of faces everyone cranes to see, I spotted another rather reserved freshman apparently trying all he could to keep up with the hub hub that must have been pure torture for those of his kind.Being a year ahead and remebering my own blues on a day like this one the year before, I chose to be a friend and help him through.I edged my way towards him making it clear to everyone else that my attention was taken.Now to even say hallo, to break the ice and get a rapport wasn't one easy task.He was the really reserved kind with that 'do not disturb' attitude.One can only imagine how ridiculous it was for me to keep trying small talk about the flavour of his drink only to be given a real cold shoulder.Nonetheless I pressed on and to my relief he eased up enough to smile-and what a smile- a gift I still treasure.
Mike, as I came to learn,was a nice person.He was a bright student and all, only he suffered some personal complex that made it difficult for him to relate with others leave alone with himself.A psychology student myself and with a personal liking for this softspoken freshman, I made it my duty to nurse the guy to health.
So it followed that I had acquired a rather sweet problem in my hands:phone calls at midnight to speak to a stressed out Mike or hours on Sunday afternoon doing all I could to reassure and nurture a grown yet so timid guy.As you can guess I grew to fall in love with him.Watching him progress,heal and become a great independent guy was a joy I savoured everyday.
After one year Mike had grown both in stature and mind.He was not the same timid guy we knew and we were the best of friends still maintaining our connection.Ours seemed to be beyond the normal love relationship. We always felt together even though quite independent of each other.Even after I left campus, we still kept it real with mail and visits.
There comes a time when one just feels like taking things to a conclusion in any relationship mmm?So this time I go ahead and ask him his plans about us .He hesitates and says he'll soon answer, why lie I am stressed now, really stressed.In the end I'm made to know that there's this one gal whom Mike's mum thinks is the best for him and of course he'd never forget me as a good friend and hope I'll understand...Now of course I read between the lines. As far as I know there's little a Mum could do if Mike were truly into my dose,the real issue was just me and him,no use to lie.Now I went through the normal really blue moments wondering why life was so unfair and trying in vain to cause Mike to change his mind.
So finally comes the wedding day and in spite of me I drag myself on, just to see Mike go away from me and forever I would have to hold my peace.The wedding was all good, finery and all.Save for the constant lump on my throat all was beautiful.I chose the last row careful to remain neutral and composed.Next to me was a guy, middle aged and looking good only rather bored and nonchalant.Must be one of those younger bros who just didn't appreciate the fuss that's nuptials.I identified with him ,only for a different reason.
The crux of the matter finally came.The voice was clear,'If anyone has a good reason....or forever hold your peace.'I looked up struggling to keep calm.Then Mike's eyes were on me,just like they'd been so many times before when he was in his low moods, I wept inside.The moment was tense, no one spoke.The pastor,happy to conclude the moment, opened his mouth to speak,but soon shut it.In a bold voice Mike had interrupted him saying, 'I think I do.'What ensued was that awkward pandemonium of 'what?' 'how?', the kind after the results of an election.The hitherto bored fellow next to me was visibly vibrant,working his way to the front amid everyone's protests.I came to learn he was the prospective boyfriend of today's bride, strange that we should have sat together.
Fearing unwanted curiosity seekers I quickly left for my home, leaving Mike to stand for his own will as is required of all of us at one time in life.
After a grueling two hours Mike was at my doorstep,just like he'd been so many days before.Something in his eyes told me he'd always be mine, only this time round I needed him to propose to me.